realchild's Diaryland Diary

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Drinkies & murder

What would stepfordtart have done during quar quar? Eaten, surely. Drinkies, certainly. She’d have developed quar cocktails, one for each season, guaranteed to stem the tide of murder feelings one invariably develops. She’d offer insight & support to dirtheads such as myself. Anyway. It still hurts, is what I’m saying.

In other news, I am fully menopaused. No more sneaky bastard periods ev 3-6 mos. No more tampon aisle. No more peeing out 5 lbs of water weight. Just regular hot flashes peppered with deluxe murder hot flashes here & there. I can’t believe, after experiencing the murder hot flash, that more women don’t kill. I’m not saying I would kill, I just can’t believe that women throughout time have experienced this & not killed. I can’t believe that menopausal homicide is not a thing. My theory is menopausal women throughout history have killed but never got caught. Now whenever I see a story like LOCAL BUSINESSMAN’S WIFE OF 30 YEARS SEEKS ANSWERS FOR HIS DISAPPEARANCE, I’m like “yeah, nevermind, I think I know what happened”. I’m a sucker for any show about the history of some old house, I don’t care how poorly produced, how questionable the platform, if you’re spilling centuries-old tea, I’m on board. Invariably, there will be some momentary detour about “the estate was briefly divided in the 18th century when the sixth Earl of Thleatumshire died under mysterious circumstances, aged 52...” Ain’t no mystery there, pal. I just think menopausals are much more inclined to murder than most people. Could strike at anytime & no one would ever know.

Anyway, night night, sweet dreams & all.

7:52 p.m. - 2020-09-17

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